I didn’t realise how rich an interview could be. When I started to transcribe the interview, I got 2500 words for an 20-minute interview. I still got 40 minutes to go. I got to know the richness of qualitative data from textbooks, even from my transfer report. I didn’t think I really knew the scale of such richness until the data were here, right in front of my face. While I was listening to the conversation, my fingers had to dance as fast as possible to digitise those intellectual insights. I think I started to love this kind of research, because it was so engaging and creative. I would never know what I can get from the participants. I did complain the subjectivity of such data and I didn’t have a clue how I was going to analyse them. However, at this moment, I really appreciate the contribution from my participants as well as the insightful ideas and thoughts they brought to me. In the meantime, I need to keep all my work in a reasonable boundary and shouldn’t challenge myself too much. I need sleep at least.
I felt that I became somehow serious towards life. I have never been so serious about my future. I don’t like responsibility and I have never carried one so far. Somehow, I realised that they were there. I have just been trying to fool myself by closing my eyes in front of them. I tried to escape from them and I tried to pretend I don’t know them. I don’t know whether it’s because I read quite a lot of books recently or it’s because I have had a lot of working experiences that I started to open my eyes and to face all these problems. Maybe this is the pass everyone needs to go through. After it, we call ourselves grown-ups.
I don’t know usually how many spaces we have online. I usually prefer to have only one place which contains everything I write, I read and I think. Once I had a blog with 5 different sub blogs. I wrote at least one post a day. Some readers thought those five sub blogs messed up with each other. I deleted it and started to have an academic blog for my Master degree. That blog had been removed from the net as well. Personally I don’t like the MSN space. For me, it is too limited to format or bring in new functions. The only good thing is that it is linked to the MSN messenger, which I rely on. I have been used the MSN space for dumping the rubbish of the day. I can tell how much I change everyday. That blog, therefore, keeps on and off regularly. When it’s off, I am strong.
I got so many things to sort out. A once told me “What didn’t kill you makes you strong”. I think this is exactly how I become strong in my life. This is the way of life I chose. It’s tough but interesting. While I suffer, I enjoy. I dream to have an easy life in the future, but I don’t know whether I am going to get there. I have been so much stress and depress. I am confident that no more misery would let me down. I am strong as ever. This applies widely.
